Shouldering Responsibility
by Surreptitious Chi X
Summary: After Sakumo commits suicide, Kakashi is left in the hands of his only remaining family member: Jiraiya. Sandaime Hokage hopes that this experience will teach Jiraiya not to be afraid of responsibility.
1. Chapter 1

**Shouldering Responsibility**

* * *

Sakumo and Jiraiya were about the same age. The relevance had been clear to Sandaime, even if it hadn't been readily apparent to others. As Jiraiya's teacher, Sandaime knew something that not many Konoha villagers did, including some shinobi: Jiraiya was Sakumo's brother. Jiraiya was from the Hatake clan. By the time Jiraiya was twenty-four and Kakashi was born, Jiraiya was already known by first name alone, but the fact remained. When Sakumo committed suicide, leaving his eight year old son in the hands of the village, Sandaime knew where to turn.

"Are you sure he's not better off with Minato?" Tsunade asked.

Sandaime smoked his pipe blandly. "I'm sure."

"I don't know…Jiraiya's kind of…" Tsunade searched for the right word. "Irresponsible."

"You mean it would be like one eight year old raising another?" Orochimaru said acerbically. He leaned against Sandaime's desk with folded arms.

"Now, the both of you…Jiraiya is your teammate."

"That's why we know what a colossal airhead he is," Tsunade said. "He can't do it. He hasn't married, let alone raised children."

"He's been a teacher for many years," Sandaime pointed out. "A leader of his own teams."

"None of which prepares one for taking a child home," Tsunade said.

"Hatake Kakashi is not an ordinary child," Sandaime said.

"I know." Tsunade raked a hand through her thick blonde hair. "That's why I'm afraid it's worse. Jiraiya would have an angry, depressed, suicidal, chuunin level shinobi on his hands – who happens to be eight years old."

Sandaime just gave his students a gentle smile. "Jiraiya will handle it."

Orochimaru turned away. "Tch."

They both got the hint and filed out of Sandaime's office.

Sandaime scratched his chin, curious at their reactions. _They don't think Jiraiya can do it. Hmm. Interesting._ He sighed. _But sad. So frequently, one's own teammates are the worst judge of one's character. _

He summoned Jiraiya into his office.

Jiraiya bounced in with a trademark wave. "Hi, Pop!" He grinned.

"I have heard," Sandaime said gently.

The cheerful mask fell from Jiraiya's face. "Oh."

"As have Tsunade and Orochimaru. Please accept their condolences."

Jiraiya looked at the floor, scuffing his sandal on it softly. "Right." He looked like a chastised child. Without prompting, he said, "It's pretty bad, alright."

"Where is Hatake Kakashi?" Sandaime asked gently.

"What?" Jiraiya pulled himself together. "The hospital."

"Ah…"

Jiraiya glanced at his teacher. "In shock. I put him in there to keep him from doing anything foolish. You know how these Hatake are…" He gave Sandaime a slight smile. "Emotional and all when it comes to their parents."

Sandaime regarded Jiraiya with sympathy. From an early age, Jiraiya had come to live with him, after Jiraiya's parents had been killed on a mission. Jiraiya had been close in Kakashi's age – six years old. The same year Jiraiya graduated from the academy, as a matter of fact. The household shift had caused tensions between his birth son and Jiraiya, and his birth son and himself. Asuma had never quite forgiven him for taking in the orphan; though that was a matter Sandaime refused to back down from, since their house had plenty of room, and the only other adult male in the Hatake clan left was a frail old man who was almost blind – Sakumo's great uncle. Sakumo, as a matter of fact, had gone to live with that uncle at the time Jiraiya became orphaned. Sandaime had offered his house, but Sakumo had politely refused, preferring to live with the great uncle he was closer to emotionally. This did not mean he did not come visit Jiraiya every day, which he had.

"So you will take him in?" Sandaime asked gently.

Jiraiya took a moment to catch up again. "Huh? The kid? Kakashi-kun? Why should I? He doesn't want me." He frowned at the floor. "Especially since I committed him to the psych ward. You should've heard some of the words he was using on me. They sure learn 'em fast, don't they?"

Sandaime sighed and smoked his pipe for a moment, thinking. Jiraiya was not good with rejection. The altercation at this early stage meant complications. "You must love him."

Jiraiya nodded earnestly, raising his head. "I do." He looked at Sandaime with wide eyes. "I do. He's my little nephew. How am I supposed to feel? I can't help but love him. He needs me. But I…I don't think he wants me, Saru-sensei."

Jiraiya was anxious. Only when he was deeply anxious did the title 'Saru-sensei' come out. Sandaime rose from his chair, walked out from behind his desk, and folded Jiraiya in a hug.

For a moment, Jiraiya flinched, stunned. Then he froze. Sandaime could feel his heart beating, felt the tingle of Jiraiya's churning chakra. Sarutobi brought forth a warming, soothing cloud of chakra and enveloped them.

Jiraiya relaxed against him and hugged him back, clinging. "Papa…" His choice to call Sarutobi that had driven Asuma crazy. He only called his sensei that when there was no chance of Asuma overhearing. He didn't need a fight on his hands. There had been plenty fistfights enough over the fact that he lived with the famous Sarutobi family.

One of them Asuma started over the idea that Jiraiya might ever become Hokage. So now Jiraiya never would be, precisely for that reason. A black eye and two cracked ribs had made it clear enough that he wasn't wanted for the position and never would be. Sarutobi had banished his son from the house – forever – but that didn't change the fact that Jiraiya was terrified of criticism should he ever put in his name for election. The damage had been done.

In spite of the fact that Sarutobi had never planned to allow someone as hotheaded as Asuma ascend to the position of Hokage. The irony of the fight had been that Asuma had never been in the running in the first place. Jiraiya, on the other hand, would have made a wonderful candidate. Now, between Asuma's bullying and his teammates' out of hand teasing, Jiraiya would probably never have the confidence to overcome his naysayers and take on responsibility.

Sarutobi hoped that by giving Jiraiya the responsibility of taking care of his nephew, he might tip the scales back in the right balance. In theory, a thirty-two year old with an excellent record as a team leader should be capable of taking care of an eight year old chuunin. It was in the details that Jiraiya might get stuck. But, even if he did, Sarutobi would be there to give advice and lend a hand.

He stroked his adopted son's back. "Let's go tell Hatake Kakashi together. We'll break the news to him gently."

"You will?" Jiraiya was terrified of facing Kakashi's wild-eyed grief and hatred by himself.

"Perhaps he will be glad to find he will not be alone," Sarutobi suggested.

Jiraiya took a deep breath and let it out. "I hope so." He wished his doubts wouldn't go straight into his stomach and make his legs weak. This was no life and death struggle. He was just going to see his little nephew.

Kakashi sat in the white padded room, not disguising his hostility. He sat in meditative position, but there was nothing about the flaming chakra around his body that suggested calm. He resented that he'd been overpowered, disarmed, and sent into monitored isolation. He would have shown them all up by summoning a wind blade and chopping off his own head, but he didn't know how to make one. His father hadn't shown him the wind blade technique yet. He felt certain his captors knew this.

Tears stung his eyes, and he swallowed. _They're laughing at me._ He knew it. They had to be. His father, the great Hatake Sakumo, the legendary White Fang, committed suicide like a coward. Leaving Kakashi to carry the burden. Well, he refused. He wouldn't be forced to live any more than his father had. If his father thought that he was going to stay here and be whipping boy for his mistakes…

Kakashi blinked, and the tears dropped down his cheeks. _Father, why? _Sakumo had always preached selflessness, always talked of sacrifice. But he couldn't be bothered to live for his only son? The hypocrisy made Kakashi's head hurt. He'd believed all the things his father told him. He'd believed he knew what was right. Now he didn't know anything and the man who could have explained it to him was dead.

He briefly wished for Minato, but dismissed the idea as weak. His teacher was too mild-mannered to know what to say in these situations. He'd seen Minato flounder before when delivering bad news, and that had been impersonal bad news. _Face it. Everyone around you is weak. _

Kakashi hid his face in his hands, succumbing to the need to hide, though he knew he was being watched.

His dignity was gone, and he was just eight years old.

The door opened.

Kakashi looked up. He stared at the figures in the doorway incredulously. His Hokage and Jiraiya side by side.

They came in.

The Hokage shut the door behind them. His face was gently, compassionately sad. "We will hold a funeral service."

"Why bother?" Kakashi stared at the floor. "No one will come."

"I will come," Sandaime said. He squeezed Jiraiya's shoulders. "And so will your uncle."

"Why bother?" Kakashi asked again. His voice was thick, revealing that he'd cried. "It won't bring him back. He's gone."

"But we're not," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi glanced up at him. "What's your point?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Kakashi-kun…come live with me. Please."

Kakashi looked away, scowling at the white padded wall. "You don't want me."

Jiraiya looked at Kakashi with wide eyes, startled. "Huh?" He faltered. "Who says so?"

Kakashi clenched his jaw. "No one has to. It's all over. I'm an outcast. No one wants me. I'll only drag you down."

"That is not how I feel about you!" Jiraiya crossed the room, dropped to his knees, and wrapped his arms around Kakashi in a hug, even though Kakashi wouldn't turn around and face him. He tucked Kakashi's head under his chin, hugging his nephew from behind. "I am not going to abandon you."

Kakashi buckled, only being held up by Jiraiya's arms. "Why not?"

Jiraiya was speechless.

"Everyone else does." As soon as that popped to the surface, Kakashi cried helplessly.

Jiraiya gathered him up and shielded Kakashi against him, sheltering Kakashi's face against his chest. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi wailed and sobbed, grabbing one fistful of Jiraiya's kimono and clinging on.

"Would you like to go with Jiraiya and come home?" Sandaime asked softly.

Kakashi could barely speak through his tears. "Y-Yes…"

Jiraiya picked him up and stood in one motion, cradling Kakashi against him.

Kakashi wound his arms around Jiraiya's neck.

"Jiraiya has a nice home," Sandaime said. "You will be at home there."

"Just take me away from here." Kakashi's voice broke. "I can't stand to be here."

Jiraiya exited the room with Sandaime leading the way, carrying Kakashi. His chest hurt. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want you…" _…joining him._ "…hurting yourself."

Kakashi sobbed. "Why do you care?"

"You're my nephew," Jiraiya said, bewildered. He didn't know any other easy answer. "I love you."

They checked Kakashi out of the hospital, and Sarutobi walked Jiraiya over to his small, two bedroom house.

Kakashi hid his face against Jiraiya the whole time and made no attempt to walk on his own. For once, he didn't care about his pride or his reputation. They were both ripped to shreds anyway. His father the traitor had become his father the dead traitor. The suicide was the worst shame of all. His father had announced to the world nothing could pay for his crimes. The things his father had done would follow him around forever.

Absurdly, the thing that popped into his head while Jiraiya was carrying him across the village was, _I'll never have any friends._ Rin and Obito told him he was obnoxious as it was. Now they probably would never speak to him again. Minato probably didn't want to be his sensei anymore. No one wanted to see him ever again.

This was a counterpoint to the sensation of being carried in warm, strong arms. His father had stopped carrying him when he graduated from the academy, saying shinobi had to stand on their own two feet. His father had convincingly argued that Kakashi would be embarrassed if he, a genin, still had his father pick him up and carry him.

Kakashi clung, tightening his arms around Jiraiya's neck. _Don't put me down. _He was hungry for the affection and protection due to children. He knew he'd never deserve the special deference again when he graduated the academy, but he never imagined it would be so hard. In the first six months, to have no one except a med nin look his way or care when he became injured almost shook him to pieces. When he'd attempted to tell his father about his pain, his father had said irritably, 'You're a shinobi,' and walked out of the room.

If he'd known being a shinobi was about being alone, he never would have gone to school. He hated being alone. And he especially hated the coldness he was supposed to display. He hated the churned up mud of battlefields, he hated the blood, he hated the pain and the exhaustion and the acrid smell of discharged chakra when someone used the last of their reserves. But he hated the coldness and aloneness the most. Not everyone seemed to feel the same way his father did, either, which frustrated him. Some genin seemed much 'softer' than others. And Minato was a sensei and he wasn't hard or cold. Kakashi felt he slaved away at a mask of indifference for nothing, except that he flinched away from his father's sharp words if he ever dropped the mask or made a mistake.

Kakashi was unused to the care he saw on Jiraiya's face when he cried. When his father saw him crying, he was liable to be spanked over it, and not gently.

Jiraiya set him down on the sofa. It was a dark green, made out of soft fake leather. Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya uncertainly.

"You have anything to eat?" Jiraiya asked.

"No…"

"What about some ramen? Would you like that?"

Kakashi glanced across the room at the dining table and the part of the kitchen he could see from the living room. It was all one room, with a partition to one side of the door to make the kitchen not immediately noticeable. "Ramen?"

Jiraiya gave him a weak grin. "I got some flavors to choose from. Pick one: beef, chicken, shrimp."

"Shrimp." Kakashi cleared his throat. "Please."

Jiraiya hesitantly laid his hand on Kakashi's head. "I'll be right back."

Kakashi looked at Jiraiya in dazed shock at the foreign gesture. "Hai."

Jiraiya went off into the kitchen, leaving Kakashi on the soft couch, wondering what living in Jiraiya's house was going to be like. He glanced across the room at the boxy object against the wall. Jiraiya had a TV… He'd never had one in his house, only a radio. He wondered what watching TV was like.

Jiraiya came back a few minutes later with a steaming bowl of instant ramen and a pair of chopsticks. After handing it off, Jiraiya sat next to him.

Kakashi looked down at the bowl of ramen in awe. It was the fancy kind. Little shrimps, bits of cabbage, and tiny diced onions floated around the pile of noodles sitting in the broth. The steam smelled wonderful.

Jiraiya smiled at him.

Kakashi hesitantly picked up his chopsticks and ate. He ate slowly, not just because he hadn't eaten anything in a while and didn't want to choke. He was also savoring.

Jiraiya laid a hand on his back, and that was pleasant, too. Jiraiya's warm, reassuring hand rested between his shoulder blades.

Kakashi got down to the stage of drinking broth without a single word in the silence. As soon as he was finished, he felt warm and sleepy, broth sloshing around in his stomach. His fingertips tingled. He glanced at Jiraiya, his vision hazy. He squinted. "Did you drug me?"

Jiraiya's startled expression was answer enough. "Huh? Why would I do that?"

"Never mind," Kakashi mumbled.

Jiraiya gently took the empty bowl and used chopsticks from him.

By the time Jiraiya came back from depositing them in the kitchen, Kakashi was asleep on the couch.

Jiraiya picked him up and carried Kakashi into his bedroom. He laid Kakashi down on the bed and pulled the covers up around his nephew. Kakashi curled up. Jiraiya sat down on the side of the bed. "Hey…I'm here. It's okay." He didn't know whether Kakashi could hear him, but he was comforted by the sound of his own voice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

In the morning, Jiraiya noticed that Kakashi was numb. He knew it was to be expected, but it still made him sad. Kakashi had slept long, and woken up motionless, staring at the ceiling.

Jiraiya, lying beside him, ran a hand over Kakashi's head, stroking his hair. "Kakashi-kun? Would you like to get up now? During the night, people should have come and brought some of your things over here. Want me to check?"

Kakashi didn't answer.

Jiraiya took matters into his own hands and rolled out of bed, then gathered Kakashi into his arms. Kakashi didn't resist; just the opposite. He curled against Jiraiya, hiding his face against Jiraiya's chest like a much smaller child. Jiraiya knew that was typical, too; a trauma caused children to regress in age.

And Jiraiya couldn't imagine a more traumatic thing than finding your father in a pool of blood with a sword sticking out of him. Actually, that made Jiraiya angry. He noticed he was progressing through his grief cycle, too. Yesterday it had been denial. Now he was safely in the anger stage. He hoped he stayed here a long time. Anger was much easier to function through than the other stages.

And why shouldn't he be angry with Sakumo? First he'd isolated himself from Jiraiya to raise his own family, then when something had gone wrong career-wise, he'd killed himself, leaving his eight year old son to find his body. That was cruel. Heartless.

Jiraiya carried Kakashi to the front door and opened it. He found a duffel bag, marked Hatake Kakashi on a manila tag fastened to one of the straps with a plastic tie. "Oh, good, it's here." He bent down and picked up the duffel bag, slinging it over one shoulder while he carried Kakashi in his other arm.

Kakashi seemed vaguely amazed.

"Let's take a bath," Jiraiya announced. In Konoha's culture, it was traditional for families to bathe together. He and Sakumo had grown up that way. He wasn't sure how Sakumo had raised Kakashi, but at the very least, Kakashi would know that the suggestion to bathe together was normal.

He took Kakashi to the bathroom. Jiraiya had a traditional wooden tub, and a traditional shower area. Kakashi needed help getting out of his clothes. His nephew seemed either confused, or as if his hands were numb.

Once they both got out of their clothes, Jiraiya helped Kakashi wash, spraying him down and helping sponge him. Then they got into the tub for a nice, hot soak.

Kakashi was silent the entire time, his gray eyes distant.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Jiraiya said rhetorically.

Kakashi didn't answer. His expression was withdrawn.

On the one hand, Jiraiya knew it was probably bad to try to draw Kakashi out of it. On the other hand, Jiraiya was scared that Kakashi would stay numb forever. Some people did. Especially child shinobi. It took a strong, caring influence to keep someone in Kakashi's position from going numb.

"Hey, how would you like pancakes for breakfast?" Jiraiya asked.

Kakashi stirred a little. "Pan…cakes?" he said faintly. He blinked, and then squinted at Jiraiya as if coming out of a dream.

Jiraiya recalled being told that Kakashi might have 'intrusive recollections of the event'. He gave Kakashi a gentle smile. "Yeah. Pancakes. Would you like that?"

Kakashi rubbed his eyes. "Uh…Uh-huh." He seemed confused about where he was. "Jiraiya-oji?"

"Yes, Kakashi-kun?" Jiraiya strove to look curious, but not concerned.

"Why are we in the tub?" Kakashi asked.

"We don't have to be," Jiraiya said. "Are you ready for breakfast? Let's dry off and get dressed."

Kakashi nodded. He looked around the bathroom as if seeing it for the first time. "And I have to pee."

"Okay," Jiraiya said. Inwardly, he was a little tense. _Crap, crap, crap. He's been in a dissociative state. Is this going to happen often? How am I going to tell? What do I do? Man, I really need to talk to Pop. _

They got out of the tub, dried off, and got dressed, Jiraiya left the room so that Kakashi could use the bathroom, waiting just outside the door.

Kakashi came out in a minute, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head. "I feel sleepy. What's for breakfast?"

Jiraiya picked him up and hugged Kakashi to him. "Pancakes! You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Kakashi wound his arms around Jiraiya's neck, looking surprised and pleased. "Pancakes?"

"You've had pancakes before, right?" Jiraiya asked, sweeping him down the hall and towards the kitchen and dining room area.

"At special places," Kakashi said.

"Well, this is a special place," Jiraiya said. He grinned and kissed Kakashi's cheek. "It'll always be a special place. So we can have pancakes every day if you want."

Kakashi made a bewildered face. "I think that would be strange."

Jiraiya laughed.

He got Kakashi seated at the table and worked on the pancakes, cracking eggs, melting butter, mixing milk with flour and baking powder, and just that right amount of sugar. He gave Kakashi grins over his shoulder often, making sure that Kakashi didn't feel ignored.

Jiraiya talked while he worked. "How do you like your pancakes? With a little powdered sugar, or jam, or syrup…?"

"P-Powdered sugar."

"Great! I have that." Jiraiya whisked everything together and turned the stovetop on at the same time. "How do you like 'em? Browner and crispy around the edges or softer and fluffier?"

Kakashi had never considered the difference. "Fluffy," he suggested blankly. Everything seemed to be going so quickly this morning. Before he knew it, he was taking a bath, and somehow, fresh clothing had been waiting for him, and now, Jiraiya was cooking breakfast like a madman.

Jiraiya rewarded him with a dazzling grin. "Right! I can do that. You just sit tight." He got out a skillet, and a measuring cup to portion out the batter with. "Pancakes comin' right up."

Kakashi was frankly astonished by Jiraiya's chattering. It was like Jiraiya was a different person. He'd been awkward and upset when he'd come in on the scene at Kakashi's house, then he'd been stoically silent on the way to the hospital. When Jiraiya came back for him, he was emotionally demonstrative, comforting, and soft.

And now Jiraiya was bubbling over with positive energy, all bounce and enthusiasm.

Kakashi realized he didn't know his uncle well, but if he had to pick which behavior was the mask, he'd choose the bouncy grinning. That was the behavior that didn't fit the situation.

Jiraiya even whistled while he poured out the pancakes onto the skillet, and he did an absentminded little dance move when he crossed the kitchen to retrieve the spatula. Kakashi didn't understand it.

In 'no time flat', as Jiraiya said, his uncle set down a plate of four 2-inch around pancakes in front of him, with powdered sugar on top. Kakashi stared down at the pancakes.

Jiraiya handed him a fork with obvious glee. "There ya go, sir!"

"Thank you," Kakashi murmured.

"No problem." Jiraiya rested a hand on Kakashi's head for a moment. "No problem at all! Here at Chez Hatake we live to serve!" He cheerfully went back to the skillet and whipped himself up a plate of pancakes to match. He brought it back to the table and sat down in the chair to Kakashi's right.

Kakashi gave Jiraiya a half-hearted smile. He wasn't sure what the response to such goofiness was. If it were Obito acting this way around him on a mission, he'd snap Obito's neck. But this was his uncle – his obviously loving, supportive, touchy-feely uncle – during a time of crisis Kakashi couldn't possibly cope with on his own. And Kakashi was beginning to realize this was a crisis for Jiraiya, too. He'd never seen such desperate masking behavior.

"How's them pancakes treating you?" Jiraiya asked.

Kakashi cut himself a bite of pancake with his fork and ate it, chewing slowly. The pancake was as fluffy as Jiraiya promised, and the powdered sugar made it a true treat. "It's good," he murmured, filled with the sudden need to be as gentle with Jiraiya as he could. "Thank you."

"You're right welcome there, sir." Jiraiya grinned and took a big bite of his own pancakes. "Just what I like in the morning," he mumbled. He swallowed with difficulty. "Whouldja like some milk?" He smiled ruefully. "It's a little hard to get 'em down without some juice or something. Orange juice or milk? I got 'em both."

Kakashi snorted at the results of Jiraiya's display of enthusiastic eating. "Orange juice, please. Or milk. Whichever's least trouble."

"They're both an equal amount of least trouble," Jiraiya said, standing up. "I'll be right back." He got a glass of orange juice for Kakashi and a glass of milk for himself.

"Thanks," Kakashi said.

"You're welcome." Jiraiya slanted him a knowing look. "You don't have to thank me every time I do something, you know. It's not like you have to get down on your knees and praise the lord every time I move."

Kakashi colored. "I'll try. Remind me." He took a sip of his orange juice. _He really is an odd person. I'm just trying to be respectful. _

Jiraiya applied himself to eating pancakes and drinking milk as if it were a mission. Kakashi had never seen someone eat that way before; it was equal parts devouring and appreciation.

Kakashi ate slowly like he always did, carefully and gracefully. It looked like nibbling by comparison. He lost himself for several minutes in the fascination of watching Jiraiya eat. Then, finally, something clicked in his head. "Jiraiya-oji…"

Jiraiya chugged the last of his milk. "Yup? What do you need?" He wiped his milk mustache off on the sleeve of his yukata. "I'll getcha whatever you want."

Kakashi blinked. "No…I mean…I have a question…"

"Oh." Jiraiya leaned back in his chair. "Shoot."

Kakashi furrowed his brow. "How long…am I going to be living here?"

Jiraiya looked shocked. "Forever." He straightened, immediately shifting to concern. "Until you leave, that is. If you wanna leave. When you're an adult. That's what I imagined. When you want to."

"My father was going to make me move out when I turned twelve," Kakashi offered. "He talked about it. The independence I should have as a growing adult."

"Ah…um…" Jiraiya floundered. He put on a big smile. "Well, I don't agree with that…so if you want to live with me until you're an old man, that's okay, too."

Kakashi noted that Jiraiya was upset. "Are you upset with Tousan a lot, Jiraiya-oji?"

Jiraiya froze. Kakashi felt a little sorry for him.

"You can tell the truth," Kakashi said helpfully.

Jiraiya grinned wryly. "Well, okay…The truth?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Your father and I didn't get along," Jiraiya said. "At all. Ever. It was really tough being your father's younger brother." He paused. "I think the thing that really split us apart, though…was when he joined ANBU. That was just about the last I could stand."

Kakashi tilted his head. "ANBU? Why is that?"

Jiraiya bit his lip and looked away. "Well…let's just say ANBU's not nice. And it took him away from you guys a lot."

"You guys?" Kakashi took a bite of his pancakes.

"You and your mother," Jiraiya said, looking slightly startled.

"I don't remember my mother," Kakashi said. "Tousan said she died when I was two."

Jiraiya cringed. "Yeah, she did."

"And?" Kakashi looked at him curiously. "You sound like there's something you want to say."

Jiraya laughed. "Do you have any idea how like Sakumo that is?"

Kakashi felt a pulse of numbness in his chest.

Jiraiya immediately noticed. "Oh, crap. I'm sorry."

"No," Kakashi said slowly. He rested his head in his hand, leaning against the table. "It's just…" He glanced up. Sunlight seemed to be slanting through the room the wrong way. "Dizzy."

He didn't resist when Jiraiya pulled him out of his chair and onto his uncle's lap.

Jiraiya held him closely.

Kakashi closed his eyes. "The world's spinning…or…like on the ocean?"

Jiraiya stroked his hair. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

"Am I going to work today?" Kakashi asked. "Because I really should…"

"Minato's going to visit us," Jiraiya said. "We'll talk about it then. Okay?"

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Okay…when is Minato-sensei coming to visit us?"

"When do you want him to come over?" Jiraiya asked.

"Well…I'd really like to know if I'm going on a mission today," Kakashi said, trying to concentrate.

"In an hour?" Jiraiya offered.

"Okay." Kakashi didn't know if the wait would become excruciating or not. "What're we going to do for an hour?"

"How about we watch TV?" Jiraiya suggested.

Kakashi clung to Jiraiya's warmth, resting his head on Jiraiya's shoulder. Watching TV would be a novelty. "Okay."

Jiraiya carried him into the living room and sat down on the sofa with him. "Lemme just summon my help." He bit his thumb and smacked it down on the end table. "Summoning jutsu!"

A tiny toad appeared in a puff of smoke.

"Would you tell Minato to be over here in about an hour?" Jiraiya asked.

"Hai, hai!" The toad hopped away, escaping through the open kitchen window.

"There," Jiraiya said. "Now we just wait." He turned on the television.

Kakashi watched the colorful pictures flashing across the television screen with fascination. He could hardly follow what was going on, but it was more than interesting enough to absorb him while they waited.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Minato came through the door right after a game show finished playing on the TV. "I'm here, Sensei." He slipped off his shoes.

Kakashi perked up in spite of himself. "Do we have a mission today?"

"I'm afraid not," Minato said apologetically.

Kakashi slumped. "Oh."

"I'm sure we'll have one soon," Minato said. "Don't worry."

Kakashi nodded. "Hai…I guess."

Minato looked concerned. He crossed over to the sofa and sat down beside Kakashi, on the side opposite Jiraiya.

Jiraiya grinned. "Hey, would you mind hanging out with Mino-kun for a little while, while I go talk to the Old Man?"

"Saru-jiji?" Minato said, startled. "Why do you need to see Sarutobi, Sensei?"

Jiraiya scratched his head. "I've just got stuff, this and that, you know."

Minato looked to Kakashi. "Well, I wouldn't mind. How about you, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakashi looked at Minato, then Jiraiya. "Do what you have to, Oji." His gaze slid back to Minato. "Are you sure it's okay that we don't have a mission today?"

"I'm sure," Minato said. "We can't be on a mission every day, Kakashi-kun. When would we have time to find fun things to do?"

Kakashi blinked. "Is Obito around somewhere? Because I'm pretty sure if we do something fun we need to include him…" He scratched his temple. "Or he's going to complain. Wouldn't he complain, Sensei? He's always complaining about something."

Minato looked startled, then bemused. "Alright…I'll see what Obito-kun is doing today. Would you like to call on Rin-chan as well?"

"Sure," Kakashi said. "Only…could you have them come over here instead? I'm feeling tired, and it's a little strange…" He glanced at Jiraiya. "Oji will tell you. I woke up in the tub this morning."

Jiraiya winced guiltily. "Ah, yeah, about that, gotta go." He teleported out in a puff of smoke.

He'd have to fill Minato in later when Kakashi wasn't listening. He had a feeling discussing Kakashi's condition openly would be a bad idea.

**xXx**

Sarutobi glanced up in mild surprise at Jiraiya's entrance, but he went back to writing something on a scroll. "Good morning, Jiraiya-kun. How did you sleep?"

"Fine, Sensei," Jiraiya said. "Fine. It's about Kakashi. I think…um…" He chewed his lip. "I don't know how to say this. I think it's beyond me, Pops."

"I take it something disturbing has occurred," Sarutobi said, putting down his paintbrush.

Jiriaya hung his head. "Yeah…"

Sarutobi stood and came over to him, hugging him gently.

"He didn't remember anything in the morning," Jiraiya said. "Or I don't think he did. He was in a – a – vegetative state or something. He wasn't responding. And then he woke up, but he didn't remember how he got there. We were taking a bath when he suddenly started responding to me again." His heart clenched. "I can't do this. I can't do it, Pop…it's too scary. I don't know what's going to happen to him!"

He hugged Sarutobi tightly and cried for a few moments. "I'm just – I'm scared I'm going to let him down. And then where will he go? He can't go to the orphanage. He just can't."

Sarutobi rubbed his back. "I think we need to speak to Tsunade. She'll know what to do. Medical problems are her expertise."

Jiraiya sniffled and tried to get a hold of himself. "Okay."

Sarutobi went to the door and asked a messenger to retrieve Tsunade. Then he rejoined Jiraiya in the office and pulled Jiraiya into his arms again. "Everything will be okay, Jiraiya-kun. I promise. One way or another, we will all pull Kakashi-kun through this. Together."

When Tsunade came, Orochimaru was with her. They shut the door to the Hokage office together.

Jiraiya glared at him. "Who asked you to come?"

"I was with Tsunade." Orochimaru crossed his arms. "I figured if it was some kind of Sannin meeting, I was invited." He tossed his head, flicking his hair over his shoulder. "Isn't that right, Sensei?" He narrowed his eyes at Sarutobi.

"Yes, please, come in." Sarutobi's expression was grave. "But we're here to talk about Kakashi-kun, so I don't know how you can help."

Orochimaru shrugged and leaned against the wall. "I'll just listen, then."

"You never just listen," Jiraiya said.

Orochimaru frowned. "Hnn."

"Well, whatever," Tsunade said. She looked to Sarutobi and Jiraiya. "How is Kakashi-kun holding up?"

Jiraiya trembled in spite of himself. "He was unresponsive this morning. For a…almost half an hour."

"Unresponsive?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "How do you mean? You need to be more specific."

"He would let me hold him, and he would cling on to me and stuff, but he wouldn't speak, and he never really looked at me. His gaze was always wandering off," Jiraiya said. Describing it made him realize how scared he was. A burning cold sensation unfurled itself inside of his stomach.

"When did he start responding?" Tsunade asked.

Jiraiya smiled sheepishly. "I started talking about pancakes."

Orochimaru snorted. "You cannot be serious. Pancakes snapped Hatake Kakashi out of a fugue state?"

"It wasn't a fugue state," Tsunade said. "Not exactly. It sounds more like catatonia." She frowned. "But you say he only stayed this way for half an hour?"

Jiraiya nodded, anxious and hopeful. "Yeah. He snapped right out of it by breakfast time. He didn't even remember he'd done it. He was talking just like normal."

Tsunade hesitated. "Well…I'd have to examine him myself, but it sounds like the kind of catatonia that comes and goes with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. He may have repeated episodes of this type of immobility and unresponsiveness."

Jiraiya's stomach twisted into knots. "You mean it might happen again?" He turned on his heel, looking at Sarutobi pleadingly. "I can't do this. I'm not an expert."

"Oh, get a hold of yourself," Orochimaru snapped. "You're acting like a baby."

"Sakumo was my brother!" Jiraiya exclaimed.

Sarutobi held up his hands. "Calm, calm."

"What if I fall apart?" Jiraiya knew he was seriously terrified to even say something like that. "What if I do? What happens to Kakashi-kun?" He looked at all of them. "What if I fail?"

Tsunade stared at him for a moment, and then looked at their teacher, deadpan. "He can't do it."

Jiraiya knew he had just been arguing that, but hearing Tsunade say it made his skin prickle. In spite of himself, he wanted to change his tune just to be on the opposite side from her. "Oh, yeah? What makes you say that?"

Tsunade sighed and turned to Sarutobi. "He's obviously too upset to take care of someone else right now. If you make him take care of Kakashi-kun, he's headed straight for a breakdown."

"A breakdown?" Jiraiya protested. "Now wait a minute. I didn't say anything about a breakdown. I'm just afraid I'm going to drop the ball. Breakdown? I'm not weak!"

"Could have fooled me," Orochimaru said.

"Shut it, Snake Face," Jiraiya snarled.

"Snake Face," Orochimaru drawled. "That's mature." His gaze flicked to Sarutobi. "Besides the obvious mental weakness of our teammate, perhaps you should consider Jiraiya's rampant immaturity as proof of his unsuitability."

Jiraiya was three-quarters of the way to punching Orochimaru in the face before anyone could blink.

Tsunade caught his arm just as quickly.

Jiraiya struggled against her grip, but she had always been stronger than him. He gritted his teeth. "Let go. Okay, already."

Tsunade let him go and turned to Sarutobi. "Orochimaru's right about one thing, though. Sensei, you can't let a notorious peeping tom raise a small child. It's just not done. Jiraiya's not father material. If he were, he would be married by now and have a child of his own."

"You'd be better off letting Kakashi raise himself," Orochimaru added.

Tsunade gave him a look. "Okay, well, you're not going to convince me of that. But…"

Jiraiya was having trouble not going for Orochimaru's throat. The gray haze of killing intent was setting in. "Because that's such a great idea. Letting children raise themselves. Why not just throw all our children into the woods?"

"Children," Sarutobi broke in, gently chastising. "Please." He scanned them. "I trust Jiraiya to take care of Kakashi-kun. Not only is it right, but it is also proper as Kakashi's last living relative."

"Jiraiya may be Kakashi-kun's only living relative," Tsunade said skeptically, "but the blood right isn't the same as being right. If I were you, Sensei, I would put Kakashi in a foster care situation."

Sarutobi looked concerned. "Do you truly believe that Jiraiya is incapable of caring for his nephew, Tsunade-chan?"

"Yeah," Jiraiya complained. "What gives?"

"It's not personal," Tsunade said. "None of us are fit to raise children. We are ninjas first, and parents second."

"Or dead last," Orochimaru said. "You don't see me trying to gather a gaggle of snot-nosed children around me, do you?"

"Well, maybe that's because you'd scare the pants off of them, Snake Face," Jiraiya said, crossing his arms.

"Face it, Jiraiya," Tsunade said. "Sakumo was the family man, not you."

"Oh, is that what you call it when a man with a pregnant wife joins ANBU?" Jiraiya said. "Thanks. I didn't get the memo!" He clenched his hands into fists. "Look, I'd appreciate it if you guys would get off my case! I'm twice the family man Sakumo is, and I don't have a family! He almost missed his wife giving birth! He missed Kakashi's first birthday! He missed his wife dying in the hospital! Who was there then, huh? Him, or me? I was. That's who. And she was delirious, calling me Sakumo, begging me to give up ANBU."

And here, he thought he'd never bring that up again. Well, he'd never get tired of being wrong, that was for sure.

Tsunade looked horrified.

Orochimaru scowled and looked unimpressed. "So why didn't you marry her? You had the chance. You foisted her off on Sakumo."

"Now that's not fair!" Jiraiya exclaimed.

"Your uncle arranged the marriage for you, didn't he?" Orochimaru said. "So why didn't you take it? Why did you convince him to marry off Sakumo instead?"

"Because he's the older brother!" Jiraiya protested.

"Enough," Tsunade said, holding out her hands. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Jiraiya, stop attacking your brother's memory. Orochimaru, stop letting him. For god's sake, be mature. You're acting no more adult than Jiraiya is right now."

Orochimaru visibly tensed with anger.

Tsunade pinned a stare on Jiraiya. "I will come over later today after my shift at the hospital and examine Kakashi-kun. Then I will diagnose whether or not he is fit to be in a home environment. If he is too unwell, I will check him back in to the psych ward. I think that's best. While I'm at it, I'm going to examine you, too. So don't you forget it. I'm not going to let you dodge me."

Jiraiya saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

Tsunade gave Sarutobi a look. "Now I'm going back to the hospital. My patients need me."

Saruboti gestured. "By all means."

"I'll be there as well," Orochimaru said. "I was in the middle of my surgery rounds."

Jiraiya sighed. "Yeah, save those kids getting blasted to pieces in the war out there, Orochi-san. That's all you can do, I guess."

Orochimaru bowed and then left the office with Tsunade.

"Well, that was fun," Jiraiya said to no one in particular.

Sarutobi squeezed his shoulder.

Jiraiya sighed. "I better be getting back home. I want to know how Kakashi is faring. Minato and the rest of his team are babysitting him, but I don't know how Kakashi is holding up."

**xXx**

Obito and Rin came fifteen minutes after Jiraiya left, summoned by toad messenger. Minato, like his sensei, could summon toads.

Rin and Obito sat down on the sofa.

"How are you feeling, Kakashi-kun?" Rin asked.

"I woke up tired this morning," Kakashi said. "It's like I didn't sleep at all. And…" He put a hand to his head. "It's like I've got water in my head. Everything's heavy and strange."

"Maybe you ate something bad," Obito said.

Kakashi glared at him. "Dummy. Food poisoning doesn't feel like this."

"It depends on the food poisoning, doesn't it?" Obito looked to Rin. "Ne, Rin? It would depend, wouldn't it?"

Rin looked caught between them, as usual.

Minato placed a hand on Rin's shoulder. "I think Kakashi-kun is suffering from grief, everyone."

Kakashi glanced at Minato, then hugged his knees to his chest. "I'm not…suffering. I don't care." He felt a wave of sadness he had never experienced before. It was overwhelming. He couldn't speak, and he could hardly move.

Obito hugged him. "It's okay to care, dummy."

Kakashi sighed.

Rin joined in, hugging on Kakashi as well. "We care about you, Kakashi-kun."

Minato gathered his whole team in his arms. "I love all of you."

Kakashi, mortified, began to cry. He took gasping breaths and stopped as soon as he could. A choked whimper came out, and he shook his head. "I'm not crying," he said defiantly. Even though no one had said anything. "I'm not…upset. I'm fine."

"Obito-kun is right," Minato said gently. "It is okay to care, to cry, to be upset. These feelings are normal under the circumstances."

Kakashi wiped his eyes, scowling. "He was a lousy father anyway. What did I need him for? He was never there. I'm not missing a thing." He didn't know why he said that. And yet, his anger was still rising. "He was a loser! He was weak. And I'm glad he's gone."

"That may be," Minato said. "But it's still okay to miss him and be sorry he's gone, at the same time."

Kakashi deflated. Now he just felt cold and heavy. He let his team gather around him in a protective cluster. He wanted to tell them it wasn't necessary…but it was. He didn't think he could survive without them.

"Let's watch some TV," Minato suggested. "Or perhaps we could put on a movie."

Obito snickered. "I bet the only kind of movie Jiraiya-sensei has is porn."

Rin smacked him across the head. "How can you talk of a Sannin that way?"

"He's a pervy Sannin," Obito retorted.

Kakashi choked, trying not to chuckle. "He's my uncle. Don't say that stuff."

"I'm sorry, man, but your uncle's a perv."

Kakashi laughed. He didn't feel much more than numbness inside, and yet, Obito could still make him laugh. "Well…he's still better than Tousan. He made me pancakes this morning."

"No way." Obito looked shocked.

"Yes." Kakashi grinned. Somehow, if he could just banter with Obito long enough, everything would be okay. "And he did a little dance, too."

Minato laughed. "Jiraiya-sensei's dance moves are legendary," he teased. "That was a treat to behold, I'm sure."

Rin giggled.

"I bet he's weird," Obito said, grinning. "Super, super weird."

"Maa, I'm not going to argue with you there," Kakashi said, looking away.

"But he's nice," Rin said.

Obito and Kakashi looked at her curiously.

"I can tell," Rin said.

"A nice pervert?" Obito made a face. "Isn't that an oxymoron?"

"No, he's nice," Kakashi said noncommittally. He shrugged. "I'm sure it's a good thing I'm not a girl."

"Now, be nice, both of you." Minato pouted. "Jiraiya-sensei might have some flaws, but he has never, not once, done anything untoward to anyone under the age of eighteen. And all he's done is looked in on a few women at the bathhouse. It's nothing to get too terribly upset about. Tsunade-hime exaggerates."

"What if you were a girl, Sensei?" Obito asked, grinning. "Would Jiraiya-sensei peek on you?"

Minato flushed. "How am I supposed to know that?"

Rin giggled. "Well, you are over eighteen. Would he? Or is it just girls he doesn't know?"

"I don't think it's limited to that," Minato said wryly. "In fact, I'd say just the opposite. He seems more inclined to peep at women he does know."

"Like Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said. "You did say he saw her once."

"Well, yes, I did…" Minato scratched his chin.

Rin bounced in her seat. "So, he would peep at you!"

Minato blushed brightly and held up his hands. "Now, now, now. Don't be that way. Let's just watch TV, and forget about this whole unseemly subject."

Obito tilted his head. "Do you think you would have big cans if you were a lady, Sensei? Or would you have small ones?"

Minato just about fell over. "Obito-kun!"

"Dummy," Kakashi said. He smacked Obito over the head. "What kind of a question is that?"

Rin looked equal parts uncomfortable and interested. "Does Jiraiya-sensei like…big cans? Or…littler ones?"

"Why, you gonna seduce him?" Obito teased.

Rin flushed bright red and punched him.

"Ow…" Obito rubbed his cheek. "That's a no, then?"

"Everyone settle down," Minato commanded.

Everyone settled. No one wanted to mess with Minato when The Voice came out.

"Now, why don't you pick a movie from the movie cabinet, Kakashi-kun?" Minato asked gently.

Kakashi slipped off of the sofa and opened the cabinet beside the TV set. He bit his lip. He didn't know whether to laugh, whether it was really funny or not. "A bunch of them are porn."

Minato smacked his forehead. "Jiraiya-sensei," he mumbled reproachfully to no one in particular. Louder, he said, "I'm sure Sensei owns something besides porn. Why don't you keep looking?"

Obito and Rin giggled.

Kakashi felt mildly worried Jiraiya would come back and catch him messing with the movie cabinet. "Maa…" He glanced along the rows of movies, reading the cases quickly. "Koneko Monogatari?" _A Kitten's Story?_ He pulled the movie out and looked at the case. It had an actual kitten on the cover – an orange tabby.

He turned to his team and held it up. "I'm pretty sure this can't be porn."

Minato blushed. "A Kitten's Story! He still has that. Oh…" He looked away and scratched his cheek, smiling and embarrassed.

"What is it, Sensei?" Rin asked.

Minato's smile widened. "When I was a little kid, Jiraiya-sensei bought that movie for me and watched it with me. I had a broken arm. He did it to keep me company." He shrugged self-consciously. "It's one of my happier memories from my genin days."

Rin's eyes widened, and then she beamed. "Let's watch it, then! If it cheered you up, then it should do something for…" She trailed off, realizing she'd spoken hastily.

"A broken arm isn't a dead father, dummy." Obito punched her in the arm.

"Children!" Minato exclaimed. He glanced at Kakashi anxiously.

Kakashi stared down at the movie in his hands. For a split second, he felt angry, but then it was swallowed up by a sense of emptiness. Emptiness so cold it hurt. He looked up at his team expressionlessly. "We can watch it."

Minato looked at him helplessly. Then he said, pointing, "Just fit it in the slot there, Kakashi-kun. The VCR should turn on when you to that. Ah, the tab goes into the VCR first."

Kakashi nodded and got the movie out of the case, then slotted it into the VCR the way Minato told him to. The front display of the VCR lit up. He left the case on the floor in front of the TV set and retreated to the sofa.

Everyone tried to give him room. He noticed at neither Rin nor Obito were touching him now. _I don't care._ He clenched his hands at his sides. Then, unbidden: _This movie's probably going to be stupid. I'm not a little kid. _

"I'll work the remote," Minato said. "I know how to use it." He turned on the TV and then switched the picture over to the VCR.

The movie started right away. After a colorful title screen, the picture flashed to a dark and misty pine forest. Kakashi's heart jumped. It looked a lot like Konoha's forests at dusk in the wintertime.

Kakashi was astonished by the music that started playing. He'd expected something girly and dumb – a chirpy pop song or something. Instead, an expectant hum of violins led into an introspective, achingly sad and peaceful harpsichord, piano-like notes floating through the air. It was like he was being told a fond memory, made bittersweet by the passage of time. His eyes filled with tears in spite of himself. Kakashi swallowed a lump in his throat. _Why can't you be stupid?_

The camera panned slowly towards the tree tops, and then shifted to the forest floor. They were now in the forest, in a maze of dark tree trunks and pale, silvery beams of light. As the gentle music played, they saw shots of trees, and deer, reminding Kakashi of the Nara clan's forest.

For an instant, Kakashi thought he saw the silhouette of a cat sitting on a tree branch. Then the picture flashed to a black screen with white subtitles.

"Stars are the children of the sky," Minato read softly. Kakashi had almost forgotten his sensei was there. "Mushrooms are of the earth. A dewdrop is of water. A nursery is of the forest."

The subtitles faded out, replaced by a misty plain with the blue shadow of a mountain or a ridge in the distance.

More subtitles appeared over this picture.

Minato read. "Every child has his own story. A little squirrel's eyes observe. A kitten's tongue dares to lick. A puppy's paws scratch at random. A bear's muzzle is busy sniffing."

A clarinet joined in, with a slightly more cheerful and friendly melody.

The mountain faded, replaced with a view of a house. The sky was still dark, but squares of yellow light illuminated the windows of the house. The story that had been appearing in white subtitles continued.

"Children's world differs from adult," Minato read, in the same soft, gentle cadence. "Children fear; doubt; rejoice; and struggle; more fiercely than men." He gently reached out and touched Kakashi's back, his fingers brushing Kakashi's shoulder.

Kakashi felt oddly exonerated. He didn't know why; it was just that the words on the screen and Minato's voice reading the words helped somehow. His chest felt lighter.

The music swelled. The camera was suddenly actively panning along the wall of the house.

"Every day they go out, to seek adventures," Minato said softly, reading as the words appeared. "For everything stimulates their curiosity." He smiled slightly.

Kakashi glanced at his teammates and saw that Rin and Obito looked equally entranced. Obito wasn't even fidgeting for once. He sat perfectly still.

Kakashi glanced back at the screen quickly at the emergence of an anomalous sound. He frowned. Then his eyes widened. The camera happened upon a sleeping, snoring puppy, lying on a bed of straw. He was a pug breed. The camera revealed another puppy, this one sleeping on his back with his paws in the air. "I thought this was A Kitten's Story," he blurted. His interest was immediately peaked. _Puppies? _

Minato chuckled. "Just watch."

His father's main summon, Ote-kun, had just had puppies with his wife. His father had told him that one of those puppies would one day be his main summon. Ote-kun and his family were pugs, just like the puppies on the screen in the movie. Kakashi had gotten to see Ote-kun's three young sons a couple weeks ago. They'd been so tiny that his father could hold one of Ote-kun's sons in one hand.

The movie flashed to inside a barn, where cows were sleeping. Then the screen showed ducks nestled down for the night. Rabbits…and then the camera started panning up, towards the hay loft.

"There's the kittens," Obito said, breaking out into a smile.

The kittens squirmed and mewed, drinking milk from their mother.

All of a sudden, a narrator's voice joined them. The voice said: "Seven kittens were born in a cowshed. One of them is strange." The picture flashed to a pure orange tabby kitten. "His name is Chatora."

The little kitten stood on the hay and mewed.

The narrator then explained, "His brown fur has stripes like a baby tiger."

"Oh," Rin said, sounding enchanted. "That's why he's named Chatora." Chatora meant 'brown tiger'.

Kakashi smiled in spite of himself. He knew instantly that Rin would love it if her parents let her have a kitten.

"He is a boy," the narrator said.

Chatora went to his mother, and his mother started licking his head, cleaning him the way cats did. Then he promptly toddled over to the edge of the hayloft and walked right off.

Rin gasped.

Even Kakashi felt a flicker of surprise.

"He didn't die, did he?" Obito protested. "This movie just started!"

Minato chuckled. "No, he didn't die. Everything is okay."

The movie screen flashed to the forest, showing time elapsing, daylight coming. A beautiful stream came into view, water rushing. A beam of sunlight came down through the trees with dreamlike beauty. There were the deer grazing again, and leaves glistening with dew in the sunlight of the new day.

Then a rooster crowed, shattering the peacefulness.

"Day breaks," the narrator announced.

It was then that Kakashi knew he was in for an interesting movie. Cheerful music began playing, full of synth instruments with a heavy beat, and Chatora poked his head out of the barn inquisitively.

Within five minutes, Chatora had gotten into trouble, and it was only a few minutes later when they were introduced to the other main character: P-suke, Chatora's best friend. P-suke was one of the pug dogs.

The movie was unexpectedly riveting, and multiple times almost moved Kakashi to tears during the course of the kitten's and the pug dog's adventure. The animals were an allegory for the ninja way of life, their ideals. Fighting battles, making friends, struggling to return home. Finding love and starting a family. The movie ended on an undeniable high, with Chatora and P-suke's sons meeting and becoming friends.

"That was a great movie, Sensei," Rin said enthusiastically.

"I'm glad you liked it," Minato said, smiling. "What did you think, Kakashi-kun, Obito-kun?"

"Chatora's like Obito," Kakashi said, lightly punching Obito on the arm. "He's always getting into trouble." He grinned underneath his mask.

"Well, then you're P-suke, because he's Chatora's best friend," Obito retorted.

"If you think I object, then you're wrong," Kakashi said. "It's P-suke that spends the entire movie trying to get Chatora out of trouble. That does sound just like me."

"Boys, boys." Minato raised his hands.

Rin just smiled and shook her head.

"Then I'm lucky to have a friend like you," Obito said unexpectedly, grinning. "Cause that means I can get into all the trouble I want, ne, Kakashi?"

Kakashi stopped arguing immediately, flustered. "Maa…"

Obito hugged him tightly.

Rin and Minato piled on again, and Kakashi was encased in a cocoon of his teammates.

It was that way that Jiraiya found them a few moments later, when his uncle came in through the front door. "I'm back." He glanced over at the sofa and smiled. "Oh." Then he chuckled and crossed over to the sofa, standing next to it because there was no room to sit down. "I see you kept occupied while I was gone."

Kakashi flushed. "We watched A Kitten's Story. It was good. Thank you."

Jiraiya grinned. "Well, well! I'd almost forgotten about that."

Minato grinned in return. "I'm glad you kept it, Sensei."

"Like I would get rid of that," Jiraiya said. "It used to be your favorite movie."

Minato blushed. "It still is," he admitted.

Rin giggled.

"P-suke's my favorite character," Kakashi mumbled.

Jiraiya ruffled his hair. "Somehow, I figured that would be true."

"I hope my summon turns out just like him," Kakashi said. "P-suke is a good dog."

Jiraiya's expression softened. "I'm sure he will be. You must be talking about one of Ote-kun's kids, right? I imagine the old dog's going to retire soon."

Kakashi nodded. "That's true. He really was my father's summon. I doubt he'd come to anyone else. But he did pledge that I could have one of his sons as my summon. That's nice of him, isn't it?"

"Yes, very," Jiraiya said. "Ote-kun is a generous and loyal ninken."

"He served my father since Tousan was a genin, didn't he," Kakashi said quietly.

"Yes, he did," Jiraiya said. "And I imagine that Ote-kun's son will stick with you through the years."

Kakashi nodded. "I hope so." His gaze dropped to the floor as something occurred to him. "Do you think…Do you think Ote-kun knows, Ojisan?"

"Knows?" Jiraiya was startled.

Kakashi nodded. "Knows," he repeated.

Jiraiya frowned as the question sank in. "I don't know, Kakashi-kun." He rested his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "I can't summon the ninken. Only you can."

"I'm not ready yet," Kakashi said.

"I understand." Jiraiya kissed his forehead. "Everything is going to be okay, though."

Kakashi didn't have the heart to be embarrassed that his uncle was acting this way in front of Obito.

"Would you like lunch?" Jiraiya asked. He scanned the group on the couch. "I'll make lunch for all of you."

"That sounds like a nice idea," Minato said. "Thank you, Sensei."

"No problem, Mina-kun," Jiraiya said. He cheerfully popped into the kitchen. "What would you like?"

"Just any old thing," Minato said.

"Rice," Obito said immediately.

Rin smacked him upside the head. "Don't make demands."

Jiraiya laughed. "Rice it is, then. I'll follow your suggestion, Obito-kun."

Obito grinned. "Great."

"How do you feel about curry?" Jiraiya asked.

"I love it," Obito said immediately. "It's my favorite food."

"Curry it is, then. Unless Kakashi-kun hates it or something."

"No, I'll eat it," Kakashi said. He felt sick to his stomach. But good ninjas didn't skip meals. It was bad for one's health. A ninja needed to keep his strength up.

Jiraiya peered around the partial wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. "Oh, by the way, Tsunade is going to stop by later."

"Okay," Kakashi said blankly.

A brief, worried expression flickered across Minato's face. Kakashi didn't ask him what for. _Tsunade-hime might send me back to the hospital._

Kakashi hoped that didn't happen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

After lunch, Jiraiya and Minato did the dishes while Kakashi and his teammates stayed sitting around the kitchen table. Minato washed, and Jiraiya dried. It was a good time to talk amongst themselves without arousing suspicion.

"How long can you stay?" Jiraiya asked quietly. "Kakashi-kun seems to like you being here…" He put a plate back into the cupboard.

"I'm staying all day," Minato said. "Kushina understands. She'll be by later with a meal. She wants to help, too." He handed Jiraiya a bowl.

Jiraiya smiled and hugged him with one arm. "Thanks, kiddo."

Minato grinned wryly. "You're welcome, Sensei."

They finished the dishes in peace.

"I hate just sitting around," Kakashi announced. "Why don't we go train or something?"

"You can use the back yard," Jiraiya said. He gestured. "Come on. It's right through the back door, here."

He directed Kakashi, Obito, and Rin to the back door, situated between the kitchen and the dining area. The door stood opposite a small pantry area, and another door that led to a small bathroom. "Here ya go."

"Thanks, Jiraiya-sensei." Rin smiled up at him.

"Are you sure you want your yard all torn up?" Obito asked. "Kakashi trains hard."

Jiraiya laughed. "I've torn the yard up more than once myself. Don't worry. I just use earth jutsu to rebuild it. I'll come in after you guys are done training and put it to rights."

They piled out into the yard, and Jiraiya closed the door. He watched them from the kitchen window, keeping an eye on them. Minato came to stand by Jiraiya's shoulder, looking out at his students as well. Kakashi immediately launched into a taijutsu exercise, attempting to take on Obito and Rin at the same time.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Jiraiya asked quietly. "They all seem shaken up by what's happened."

"Tragedies make the team stronger," Minato said. He was frowning and pale, but seemed sure of himself. "We'll knit as a team. Helping each other come through this crisis okay will improve our teamwork together."

"Still, Kakashi's in kind of a bad way…" Jiraiya trailed off. He knew what he meant to say, but he didn't know how to say it. Somehow, he always ended up confessing everything to Minato. Even though Minato was the student and he was the teacher, he often ended up leaning on Minato for support that Tsunade and Orochimaru either wouldn't or couldn't give. He worried that it was unhealthy.

But Minato didn't seem to mind, and Kushina had even helped him a couple times when he felt really unsure of himself about something.

"Tsunade thinks I can't make it," Jiraiya admitted finally.

Minato quickly turned to face him.

Jiraiya attempted a smile. "I don't have to say what Orochimaru thinks."

"Sensei…" Minato pressed his lips together firmly into a thin line, and then said, "Don't listen to what Tsunade has to say. I know you're in love with her, but…you take too much stock in what she has to say about you."

Jiraiya supposed he should have seen Minato's assessment coming.

"You can do it." Minato took Jiraiya's arms and squeezed gently. "You're a strong person. I know you can."

Jiraiya knew it was useless to shake his head. Minato would just get angry and then give him a pep talk. "I didn't…I didn't expect this." _I didn't expect to raise my grieving nephew_. He glanced out the window.

Kakashi was on the ground, and Obito and Rin were on top of him. They were all tangled up together and struggling. And oddly, Kakashi looked happy. He still fought them off with all his strength, though, trying to free his arm. He had Obito on one arm, and Rin on the other. They were trying to pin him as a team effort.

Minato followed Jiraiya's gaze and snorted, breaking out into a smile. "Kakashi-kun often says he can take them without using his nature release attacks. He hasn't been able to follow through with that threat yet."

Jiraiya laughed. "Is that so? Kakashi boasting? I wouldn't have thought it."

Minato shook his head. "It's not boasting. Not exactly. It's more like a challenge."

"A challenge?" Jiraiya raised his eyebrows.

"You must know the Turtle Sage's boy, the young man from the Maito clan," Minato said.

Jiraiya nodded. "Indeed. I would say Maito Gai is fairly hard to miss."

Minato grinned. "Well, he came up with a game: the challenge game. He challenged Kakashi to a series of fairly absurd games, all of which Kakashi refused to play with him…but the idea seems to have caught on. Kakashi will now challenge Obito or Rin to do things, or say that he bets he can do something, even if he ultimately can't, just to make their sparring more exciting."

"Really." Jiraiya absorbed that information. "Kakashi, playing. I'll bet Sakumo didn't know about this."

"I'd think not," Minato said. His expression turned regretful. "On the first day of survival testing, when this team was put together, Kakashi said he didn't play games."

"Something Sakumo wouldn't approve of, I guess," Jiraiya said.

Minato nodded. "Exactly right. When I asked him why, he told me that his father said ninjas don't play games." He winced and scratched his cheek. "And then he asked me if I was a real ninja or not."

"Ouch," Jiraiya said.

"I learned not to take offense," Minato said. He shrugged. "It's just his father, is all." Then he paused. "I guess what I mean to say is, 'was'. I'll have to start saying that now, won't I?"

Jiraiya squeezed his shoulder. "I'm afraid so."

"I grew so used to disliking him." Minato looked guilty. "Even knowing he was your brother. I couldn't find it in my heart to…like him. Because of the way he raised Kakashi-kun. So serious."

"I know," Jiraiya said. "I was there, remember? He started teaching Kakashi how to hold a kunai when Kakashi was two years old. I objected that that was a little early, and he told me that if I disagreed with his parenting again, he'd banish me from the house, and I would no longer be able to visit Kakashi."

He bit the inside of his cheek. "Well, you know me. I lasted six months, and then I opened my big mouth again. I wasn't even invited to Kakashi's third birthday party."

Minato touched his arm. "I remember."

"Oh, yeah." Jiraiya's gaze drifted out the window. "That's right, you were there." An understatement, really. He'd spent Kakashi's third birthday in a mixture of denial and hurt feelings, drinking himself into insensibility. Minato had to take him home from the bar before he did something stupid.

Minato tactfully changed the subject. "Gai-kun is good for him. I wish they'd play together more often." He smiled ruefully. "But you know Kakashi-kun. You can't call it playing or he'll swear off of it forever. Still…playing is what it is, and he seems to love it. Look at him out there."

Jiraiya laughed; Kakashi and Rin were now trying to capture Obito. Obito ran around the yard, scrambling out of reach. Kakashi had a length of rope and he looked awfully determined to make use of it. "I see it's Obito's turn to be 'it'."

"Mm-hmm." Minato nodded, unable to suppress a grin. "Ever since I tied them up during survival training, they seem to love that, too. They'll take any chance they can get to tie each other to trees and things."

"You've created a bunch of monsters," Jiraiya teased.

Minato chuckled. "Yes, well, they are lively, aren't they?" He added spontaneously, "I love them all so much."

Jiraiya wrapped his arm around Minato and hugged Minato to his side. "They'll be okay. Like you said."

Minato took a deep breath, and then nodded.

**xXx**

The kids played – or as Kakashi preferred to say, trained – in the back yard for a few hours, but eventually Rin and Obito had to go home. Kakashi was polite, wishing them goodbye and seeing them off in an adult manner, but Jiraiya could tell his nephew was disappointed.

Kakashi closed the front door once his teammates were out of sight and looked up at Minato. "Are you going, too, Minato-sensei?"

The look Kakashi gave Minato almost broke Jiraiya's heart.

Minato bent down and ruffled Kakashi's hair. "No, I'm staying. In fact, my wife will be over in about an hour with dinner. She's anxious to see you."

"Kushina-san?" Kakashi brightened at that. "Really?"

Minato chuckled. "Really."

"What's she bringing?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know," Minato said. "It's a surprise."

Jiraiya grinned. "Kushina's cooking surprises are always the best. Aren't they, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakashi nodded.

Jiraiya knew that Kakashi looked to Kushina as a replacement mom. Her position had been solidified when she took care of Kakashi during a chicken pox outbreak, right after Kakashi's graduation. Sakumo had been away for a month on an ANBU mission, and Kakashi had ended up at Minato and Kushina's. Jiraiya visited once for a short while, but he'd been too afraid of getting into an argument with his brother about his involvement to stay long. Minato had filled him in later. During the peak of Kakashi's fever, Kushina stayed with him all night, reading him stories from a children's book. Kakashi didn't have any such books at home. According to Minato, Kakashi said all of his 'baby things' had been either put away or donated when he graduated the Academy.

They watched more TV while waiting for Kushina to arrive, Jiraiya on one side of Kakashi and Minato on the other.

She came, bearing large bags of food, and an endless supply of hugs. Kakashi allowed himself to be carried around in her arms gladly. She set up dinner, which Kakashi ate with far more enthusiasm than he had his lunch. It was orange chicken with vegetable yakisoba, and a hearty portion of rice.

Then she retreated with Kakashi to the sofa, and Jiraiya and Minato gave them space. Instead, Jiraiya asked for Minato's help in gathering more belongings from Kakashi's house. They ran the errand as quickly as possible, making sure Kakashi knew where they were going. Minato sealed some of Kakashi's furniture into scrolls – like his bed and his dresser.

By the time they got back, Kakashi was asleep in Kushina's arms. Jiraiya quietly led Minato back into the guest bedroom, down the hall from Jiraiya's own room. They set about swapping furniture and arranging Kakashi's belongings. Jiraiya wasn't going to make Kakashi sleep there right away, but he wanted the room to be ready.

Then it was time for Kushina to leave. She hugged Minato and Jiraiya in turn, then saved the longest, squishiest hug for Kakashi. "I have to go…but I'll be back tomorrow. Okay?"

Kakashi nodded.

Kushina kissed his forehead. "Ja ne."

"I'll be home in a few hours," Minato said.

"Alright," Kushina said. She bowed. "Good night, Jiraiya-sensei."

Jiraiya bowed in return. "Good night."

They saw her off, waving until she was out of sight, as was Konoha's custom.

Kakashi turned to Minato and Jiraiya seriously. "When is Tsunade-sama going to be here?"

"Any minute now," Jiraiya said vaguely, scratching his chin. He glanced at the clock. "Fifteen minutes, maybe?"

Kakashi nodded. "I'm going to use the bathroom." He marched off.

Jiraiya and Minato looked at each other apprehensively.

**xXx**

Kakashi finished using the bathroom, looked at himself in the mirror, and pulled down his mask. He sighed and splashed water on his face. _Somehow, I have to get through this. _As he dried his face, it occurred to him that maybe, if Jiraiya wasn't allowed to keep him, he could live with Minato and Kushina. _That would be okay, too._

But what worried him about that scenario was what would happen to Jiraiya if he left. Or, more accurately, if he was taken away. He didn't want Jiraiya to be hurt.

When he came out of the bathroom and walked down the hall, he saw Tsunade entering the house. She bowed, then Jiraiya and Minato bowed, and they allowed her inside.

"Ah, Kakashi-kun," Tsunade said, glancing at him as he entered the living room. "I hope Jiraiya informed you of my visit."

"He did," Kakashi said. He went over and sat down in the middle of the sofa.

"Good," Tsunade said. "I have some questions to ask you…"

Kakashi wanted to beat her to the punch. "Are you going to send me back to the hospital? Because Minato-sensei thinks you are."

Minato looked stricken. "I…I'll be in the kitchen." He bowed. "Excuse me, please."

Kakashi wondered why telling Tsunade that was wrong.

Jiraiya winced. He mumbled softly, "Oh, Mino-kun…" He held up a hand. "Just a second." He disappeared into the kitchen with Minato.

Kakashi overheard talking, but he couldn't hear clearly enough to know the content. "You've upset them," he informed Tsunade.

"Me?" Tsunade looked surprised.

"I can tell," Kakashi said. "They think you're going to botch my treatment. Or something." He shrugged.

"Well, am I?" Tsunade said. "You tell me. I need to interview you to know what the proper treatment is. That's why I'm here."

"Oh, so if I mess it up, I am going back to the hospital," Kakashi drawled.

Tsunade frowned. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya and Minato returned.

"We're fine," Jiraiya announced. He had his arm around Minato.

Minato looked very much as if he wanted to sit next to Kakashi on the couch. His crystal blue eyes were mournful.

"I'll ask you a series of questions, and if you answer truthfully, I don't think there will be any problem," Tsunade said gently.

"I won't lie," Kakashi said. He narrowed his eyes at her, then glanced at Minato. "I never lie. Ask Minato-sensei. He knows I tell the truth."

Minato nodded firmly. "Kakashi-kun is a good boy – a good ninja. He'll never tell you a lie, Tsunade-sama."

"Very well, then," Tsunade said. She walked closer to the sofa. "How are you feeling today?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I was fine earlier, while I was watching a movie with Minato-sensei and the rest of my team. We watched a movie called A Kitten's Story. It was really nice. I liked the part where they went home at the end." He took a deep breath. "I didn't feel so okay after lunch. But then I trained with Obito and Rin in the back yard, and I felt okay again. Obito and Rin had to leave because they had to eat dinner with their parents, and Kushina came over. She made something really nice for us to eat. Then she went home, and I used the bathroom. And you came."

"What about this morning?" Tsunade asked.

"Nothing happened this morning," Kakashi said.

"What about your blackout?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi glared at her. "I didn't have a blackout."

"Jiraiya said you woke up in the tub," Tsunade said.

"Yeah, I sleepwalk," Kakashi said. "Oji didn't know that, so he probably just did everything he would normally do. And I ended up in the tub before I really woke up. It happens sometimes." He had to bet that with his father dead, no one else knew his sleeping habits as well as he did. If Minato suspected, though, he couldn't imagine his teacher ratting him out. _Minato loves Jiraiya, too. He wouldn't want me to be taken away._

Tsunade considered him. "Are you telling the truth?"

"I told you I would," Kakashi said, giving her an irritated look.

"How do you feel about your father's death?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi shrugged. After a moment, he suggested, "Angry?"

"Why angry?" Tsunade asked gently, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

Kakashi shrugged again. "Because that's how I supposed to feel? After all, he abandoned me. He was a traitor and he killed himself to spare the controversy. He couldn't stand to wait until after the war was over, and he might be put on trial. So he killed himself. I know all about why he did that."

Jiraiya looked horrified. "Who told you that?"

"He did," Kakashi said. "He said the Council had decided to wait to try him for treason until after the war was over, so they could make sure to try him on whether we won or lost. If we lost, I imagine they would have killed him instead of just sentencing him to suffer."

Jiraiya fell silent.

"How do you feel about your father's decision to save his team?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi shrugged. "It was stupid."

"Why was it stupid?" Tsunade rested her hand on top of Kakashi's.

"Because he sacrificed other lives for it," Kakashi said. "He saved his teammates, but his mission would have resulted in more people living than dying. He had to take that into account. He didn't. He did what they always told us not to do in the Academy. He forgot what he was supposed to be doing, and he was selfish. He should be punished for it. It's wrong that he died first. He should have stayed, so we could punish him."

"I see," Tsunade said gently, managing to sound completely neutral.

"He was afraid of punishment," Kakashi said. "That was wrong too. They told us never to be afraid of punishment. If we just did what we were supposed to do, we didn't have to worry. He should have done what people told him to and then come home. He wouldn't have been punished."

He glanced at Tsunade. "Isn't that so, Tsunade-hime? No one would have blamed him for losing his teammates. I don't understand why he didn't do it. You're supposed to be loyal to your teammates up to a point, but eliminate them when they get in the way of the mission."

Jiraiya frowned, looking uncomfortable and angry.

"Father did everything wrong," Kakashi said.

Tsunade hugged him. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi shrugged. He didn't feel sorry or anything. He didn't even feel angry. He just felt numb. It was like it wasn't important or something. "It's okay."

"Why is it okay?" Tsunade asked gently.

"I never liked my father anyway," Kakashi said. "He was a prick."

Minato turned pale.

Jiraiya hugged him.

"That's not right," Minato whispered. "That's not right at all."

Kakashi pretended not to notice his teacher's reaction. He frowned, staring at the wall above the television set.

Tsunade waited, letting the silence lapse.

"He killed Mom," Kakashi said spontaneously.

Jiraiya gave a start. Kakashi guessed Jiraiya didn't know how much he knew about things.

"How did he do that?" Tsunade asked, as calm as ever.

"She died because he wasn't there," Kakashi said. "I know. I heard the rumors. At first they made me cry because it wasn't true, but now I know it is. He killed my mom because he didn't love us."

Jiraiya looked ill. Kakashi felt sorry that this subject was so hard for his uncle.

Kakashi turned his head and gazed at Tsunade. "He didn't love any of us. That's why Jiraiya cried." If his uncle wasn't going to say anything, then he would. He wanted Tsunade to understand how much his father hurt Jiraiya.

"Do you think Jiraiya is fit to take care of you?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi glared at her. "I'm taking care of Jiraiya," he declared.

Tsunade just nodded. "I see. Why is this?"

"Because he needs me," Kakashi said. "We're all we have left. And I'm not going to go into some mental institution or stop taking missions because my father died. That would be petty. Jiraiya-oji needs to not cry and he needs to know that I am here for him."

"That's very mature of you, Kakashi-kun," Tsunade said.

"Of course it is," Kakashi said. "I'm a full grown adult. Don't believe me, ask Sensei. I'm an adult, aren't I, Sensei? I don't need any special considerations. I could be on my own if I wanted. But I'm here, because I want to be. I'm not going to be any trouble."

A little of the color had come back into Minato's cheeks. "That's right, Tsunade-hime. Kakashi is a full-grown adult. He can stay where he wants to."

"He agreed to stay with me for a little while," Jiraiya ventured, entering the conversation. "Because I asked him to…"

"See?" Kakashi looked from Jiraiya to Tsunade. "I'm staying. I'm helpful."

"I see that, now," Tsunade said softly.

Kakashi nodded. "So you're not going to move me to the hospital, are you? Because if you do I can't help."

"Of course not," Tsunade said. "You're staying right here."

Kakashi lifted his chin triumphantly.

Jiraiya hesitated, then crossed the room. He came over and sat down next to Kakashi. "You're a very thoughtful nephew." He slipped his arm around Kakashi.

Kakashi hugged him around the waist tightly, even though his arms wouldn't reach all the way around, and nestled his head against Jiraiya's chest. _See?_ he wanted to say. _I did fix it. Everything's alright now. Because Tsunade won't take me away._ "I love you," he mumbled against Jiraiya's chest, hopefully loud enough for his uncle to hear.

Jiraiya stroked his head. "I love you, too."

"So everything's okay," Kakashi said.

Tsunade nodded. "I'll tell Sandaime my decision in the morning. Good night, Kakashi-kun."

"Good night," Kakashi said. "I hope you don't mind if I don't get up."

"I'll see her out," Minato said quietly.

Tsunade inclined her head.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Minato came after breakfast.

Jiraiya was relieved that breakfast had gone off without a hitch, easier than yesterday. Kakashi had woken right away and seemed calm. He didn't need any help to get dressed, and he was talking like normal, in an adult fashion. In fact, Kakashi had helped make the omelets and rice they'd eaten for breakfast.

Minato opened the door and announced his entrance. "I'm here."

Jiraiya dropped the pan he was washing and glanced at Kakashi. Kakashi stood on a stool in order to be at a comparable height to the sink, so he could rinse and dry the dishes.

"We're in here," Jiraiya called. "Just a second."

Kakashi put down his dishrag and hopped off the stool, running to meet his sensei.

Jiraiya pulled off his rubber gloves and joined them in the living room. He got there in time to see Kakashi bow.

"Good morning," Kakashi said.

Minato exchanged bows, looking bemused. "Good morning."

"Ojichan and I were finishing the dishes," Kakashi said.

"He's good at helping," Jiraiya said.

Minato smiled. "That's nice."

"I helped with the dishes all the time," Kakashi said. "Father taught me to do the dishes by myself."

"How are you feeling this morning?" Minato asked.

"Fine," Kakashi said. He looked to Jiraiya. "I'm fine."

Jiraiya hesitated.

Kakashi crossed the two steps to Jiraiya's side and squeezed Jiraiya's hand. "Ojichan is nervous that Tsunade might still take me away."

"No," Jiraiya protested.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him in an oddly adult way, looking at Jiraiya with a piercing gaze.

Jiraiya shifted uncomfortably. "Well…maybe. But it's nothing for you to worry about, Kakashi-kun."

"I'm not worried," Kakashi said. 'I'm staying even if they tell me to go."

Jiraiya flushed slightly and looked to Minato. "I'm, ah, counting on you to keep Kakashi company while I straighten this out. There's supposed to be a meeting this morning in Sarutobi-sensei's office. I just haven't gotten the word of it yet. I'm waiting to be summoned."

"Guess who's coming?" Minato asked brightly.

Kakashi looked at his teacher quizzically. "Who?"

"Kushina!" Minato grinned and spread his hands. "She's meeting with her team right now, but she's going to be here in about an hour."

Kakashi lit up. "Will Kushina-san make lunch?"

Minato laughed. "I bet she might." He ruffled Kakashi's hair.

"Good." Kakashi smiled. "Ojichan's cooking is good, but Kushina-san's is better."

"Outclassed by a woman," Jiraiya said, clutching his chest and appearing comically wounded.

"Don't let her catch you saying that," Minato said. "She's not any woman, she's Red Hot Habanero Kushina."

Jiraiya broke out the shogi set and allowed Minato and Kakashi to play at the kitchen table. Both of them seemed to enjoy it. Kakashi was holding his own in fine form when Kushina arrived.

She kissed Jiraiya's cheek. "Oh, Jiraiya-sensei, Sarutobi says he's ready for you now. I just swung by there to report about my team's D-Rank mission."

Jiraiya kissed her cheek in return. "Thanks, Kushina-chan!" He hugged Kakashi. "Okay, I guess I'll be going."

Kakashi nodded, absorbed in plotting his next move against Minato.

**xXx**

When Jiraiya arrived, Tsunade and Orochimaru were already there.

"You're late," Orochimaru said.

"I'm not late," Jiraiya retorted. "I've got responsibilities."

Sarutobi said, "Tsunade was just filling me in on how the visit went." He gestured with his pipe. "Please, join us."

"Although Kakashi-kun's affect was noticeably flat, he has entered the anger stage," Tsunade said. "This is evident by the way he derides his father. Saying things like, 'He was a prick', or 'He was a traitor', is a way of making himself feel better about the situation. As long as he remains entrenched in anger, he can't feel the pain waiting to come out."

Jiraiya nodded slowly. "He shocked Mino-kun by coming up with that stuff. Minato's never heard Kakashi speak ill of his father."

"We need allow Kakashi room for this anger," Tsunade said. "By expressing himself, he will be able to move on to the other stages of grief, and then to healing."

"Some people never exit the anger stage of grief, isn't that true?" Orochimaru said skeptically.

"That is simply because no one has allowed them free enough expression," Tsunade said. "Bottling it up inside is what causes a person to get stuck."

"How do you know Kakashi-kun wants to get over his father's death?" Orochimaru asked. "He was suicidal, wasn't he?"

"In the beginning," Jiraiya said defensively. "For like a day. Not even a day! He just needed to know I was here for him."

"Oh, yes. Jiraiya is here. Comforting," Orochimaru drawled.

"To a small child, having a known relative would be," Tsunade said, for once moving in to stop Orochimaru before he got on a roll.

"So I get to keep him?" Jiraiya asked.

"I'm not finished giving my report," Tsunade said.

Jiraiya looked at the floor, disheartened. _That's a no, then. _

"Kakashi-kun experienced a blackout that he later denied as 'sleepwalking'," Tsunade said. "This suggests to me that Kakashi is experiencing a common reaction to trauma in children, called 'intrusive imagery'. Intrusive imagery is a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder. Children can get it; unfortunately, the flow of disturbed children through our hospital shows that. Therefore, Kakashi-kun is experiencing a battery of symptoms that may include flashbacks, lost time, intrusive imagery, and regression." She nodded. "I'd also expect him to have lots of nightmares."

"What do I do?" Jiraiya asked. He hurt to think that he could do nothing.

"Watch him," Tsunade said. "I need you to monitor him for these signs. If they become severe, we may need to hospitalize him and place him on medication. It is also imperative that at some point, Kakashi discusses what he's seen, and his thoughts and feelings in reaction to it."

Jiraiya paced. That wasn't an outright denial of his right to keep Kakashi. She wanted his help. But he had to know. "Well?" He didn't know why Tsunade was dragging this out so long. "What's the verdict? Do I get to keep him or not, Tsunade-chan?"

Tsunade glared at him. "I'm getting to that. Let me explain the situation first."

"Please do," Sarutobi said, gesturing. He lit his pipe and began smoking, looking thoughtful and worried. "Finish your analysis for me."

"Kakashi-kun has created a suitable cover," Tsunade said. "A reason why he's going to stay with Jiraiya other than the fact that his father is dead."

"What does this mean?" Sarutobi asked. "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Oh, it's a good thing," Tsunade said. "For his stage in development, it's a remarkably advanced protection technique. Not only has he avoided going into denial about his father's death, he's funneled all of his anxiety into taking care of Jiraiya; something that makes it easy for him to manage his feelings, since in reality Jiraiya is taking care of him. I'd say it's a successful bonding technique. Transference can be very powerful as a method of building bonds with children. Most children go through this with their parents. There comes a time when it is healthiest to sever all ties of transference with one's parents, but that is a stage of development Kakashi has not reached yet. That happens sometime in adolescent years, between the ages of thirteen and sixteen. Generally speaking, that is."

"So I get to keep him," Jiraiya said. He wanted to make sure he had this right.

"You're a far better parent than I'd taken you for," Tsunade said wryly.

"So that's a yes." Jiraiya wanted her to come out and say it.

"Yes," Tsunade said, narrowing her eyes at him.

Jiraiya pumped his fist in the air. "Yes!"

"I suppose your youthful enthusiasm, as distasteful as it is to an adult, may be endearing to a child," Orochimaru drawled. "Perhaps."

"Make sure you give Kakashi enough stuff to do," Tsunade said. "He's going to need to feel useful to keep his cover up. So letting him in on a few household chores and perhaps teaching him how to cook some things with you as a team will make him feel needed. And don't be afraid to share some emotional insights with him, as long as they're small enough. Things like, 'I feel sad today', for instance. Or 'that made me feel better, thank you'."

Jiraiya nodded slowly. "I'll try to keep that in mind. And for him? What do I do for him?"

"Just stay yourself," Tsunade said. "As Orochimaru said, unenthusiastic though he was, being yourself seems to be exactly what Kakashi needs right now."

Jiraiya smirked. "Hear that, Snake Face? Tsunade sides with me today."

Tsunade rolled her eyes.

Orochimaru looked away, not deigning to comment.

**xXx**

Jiraiya came back to find Kakashi sitting silently on the sofa between Minato and Kushina. His head was bowed.

"What's up?" Jiraiya asked quietly.

Minato held Kakashi's hand. "He's been like this. Maybe for…half an hour?" He looked to Kushina.

"Twenty minutes," Kushina said. She held Kakashi's other hand. "He's been alright. We got him to sit and watch TV with us, and we were talking about ordinary things. When he would get to be back on missions, those sorts of things. Then he just…" She shrugged helplessly.

"Drifted off," Minato said. "It was like he'd heard a noise, or had a sudden thought…and then we couldn't reach him."

"Well, we're here," Kushina said. "I guess that's all we can do."

Kakashi gave no sign he could hear them.

Jiraiya scooped Kakashi up and sat down on the couch in Kakashi's place, forcing Minato and Kushina to scoot a little farther apart. He set Kakashi in his lap and gently cupped Kakashi's chin, directing Kakashi to look at him. "Hey, Kashi-kun. It's Ojisan. How are you feeling?"

Kakashi looked at Jiraiya blankly. His gray eyes were unfocused. Then, his gaze slowly slid away.

Jiraiya tried not to be scared. He swallowed a lump in his throat. He removed his hand and just cradled Kakashi against him.

The TV mumbled in the background, unnoticed by anyone.

They waited in silence. After a few minutes, Minato turned the TV up and changed the channel, bright-eyed.

Jiraiya stroked Kakashi's hair. "We're here for you, and we're not leaving."

After a moment, Kakashi whimpered and curled up against him.

Jiraiya's stomach contracted in pain at that noise from his nephew. He didn't stop stroking Kakashi's hair. "We're here. I promise."

Kakashi whimpered again. He scrunched up against the crook of Jiraiya's arm, his head against Jiraiya's shoulder, and raised his hand, curling it against his mouth in a primitive shielding gesture.

"Are you awake?" Jiraiya asked gently. "Minato and Kushina are here…"

Kakashi didn't respond.

Jiraiya glanced at Minato and Kushina in return.

"I'm here," Minato volunteered. "And Kushina-chan is, too. We love you, very much, Kakashi-kun."

Kakashi's gaze flickered. He looked from Jiraiya to Minato, giving his sensei a hard stare.

"We won't leave you like he did," Minato said firmly.

Kakashi's eyes widened. He looked up at Jiraiya.

"It's true," Jiraiya said. "We're all here for keeps." He kept stroking Kakashi's hair, slowly and gently.

"Mommy," Kakashi said. His voice was clear, but shaky. "Mommy said she'd be all better. Then she left."

Kushina started crying and hugged Kakashi tightly, leaning on Jiraiya. "Oh, Kashi-kun."

"Mommy said she loved me." Kakashi's voice cracked. "She said 'I love you sweetheart bye-bye, Mommy's going to the hospital for some tests' and then she never came back." He jerked, cringing against Jiraiya. "She never came back!"

Kushina took Kakashi from Jiraiya's arms and held him tightly, cradling him against her chest. Kakashi clung to her. Kushina rocked him, stroking his hair. "This Mommy is never going to leave."

Kakashi trembled. "Mommy?"

"Yes," Kushina said.

Jiraiya was stunned and confused that this is what had come out of Kakashi first. Kakashi had been two years old when his mother died. It was remarkable that Kakashi could remember anything. _But maybe he hadn't. Not until this newer trauma triggered his memories of his old one. _

Kakashi looked up at Kushina with wide eyes.

Kushina kissed his cheeks. "It's alright, sweetheart. You can cry."

"I can't though," Kakashi blurted. "Daddy said not to cry. He said 'Don't cry. Don't cry. Ninjas don't cry and you'll be a strong ninja someday. So you have to start not crying.'" He bit his lip. "I saw Daddy crying though. Daddy cried a lot. And he said he wouldn't."

Jiraiya wanted to bring Sakumo back from the dead just to strangle him.

"Daddy…" Kakashi closed his eyes and frowned, as if he had a headache. "…is a hypocrite. That's someone who does what they're not supposed to."

Now Jiraiya felt guilty. He was the one who'd called Sakumo a hypocrite. Repeatedly.

Kakashi slumped against Kushina, closing his eyes. "Daddy does all the things he's not supposed to do. Who is going to punish him?"

"Sandaime," Kushina said gently. "Sandaime will punish Sakumo. He is very wise. I am sure Sandaime will do the right thing."

Kakashi seemed soothed by that.

After a few minutes, he muttered, "I'm tired."

"Take a nap, then," Kushina said. "You can go to sleep right here."

Jiraiya was surprised that Kakashi took her up on it. It looked like his nephew just plain passed out. He watched Kakashi, but Kakashi didn't seem to be waking up.

"It's bad, isn't it," Minato mumbled.

Jiraiya slipped an arm around Minato and hugged him. "We'll all get through this together, remember? We will."

Minato nodded, but he still looked upset. He stared at the TV with a troubled expression.

"Would you like some lunch?" Kushina asked. "Kakashi-kun asked me to make him lunch, and I didn't want to leave him to go shopping. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Jiraiya grinned at her. "Whip my poor, humble ingredients into a feast any time you want."

"Would you like some?" Kushina asked. "Kakashi-kun asked for yakitori. I made some beef skewers, too."

Jiraiya realized he was nauseous. "Um…sure. Thanks, Kushina-chan." He kissed her cheek and rose from the sofa. Then he turned and faced Minato. "You ate already, I trust?"

"Yes," Minato said. He glanced at Jiraiya. "Yes, thank you. I'm alright, Sensei."

"Scoot over and join Kushina," Jiraiya advised. "Your lovely wife probably wants to sit next to you without your fat old sensei in the way."

"You're not fat," Minato protested, but he scooted over and snuggled against Kushina.

Jiraiya grinned at them and went into the kitchen to retrieve some food. The grin came easier than it had a moment ago. Bantering with Minato like normal helped. As he raided the refrigerator, he couldn't help but think about how much Sakumo's death was affecting them all. It wasn't just Kakashi they had to worry about. They were all in danger of falling apart.

He'd do whatever he could to keep that from happening.


End file.
